I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The Olympian is in my bed
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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