Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
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Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
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just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course