my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
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his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
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we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.