hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.