It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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