I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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