After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
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When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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