I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
