You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm always down for nudity.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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