Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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