So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
