How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize