how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
