She's JV to your varsity
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
