garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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