we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
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Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
I'm sobbing to NWA
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.