Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.