we have officially mastered the walk of shame
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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