yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize