I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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