Jerry, you need to find god
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
