ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
