the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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