Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
