ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
