am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
