I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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