new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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