I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
