i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my vag is so smooth its legendary
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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