Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
