I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
