I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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