I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
