i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize