College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize