I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
