What a fucking waste of an outfit
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
