Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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