I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
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I think the camel was justified in biting me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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