Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
