We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
