Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
