I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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