That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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