a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
