How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
