Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize