Buhtt sex?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
