Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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