Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
