Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
