tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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