whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
