Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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