We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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