Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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