Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
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It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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