My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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