i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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