I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
