How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
