If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
