There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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