Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Enjoy the penises
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
