That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
