the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
