He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize