I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
