i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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