Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Don't EVER smell your tampon
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
