dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
