If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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