I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
