So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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