pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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