I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
