My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
